


you are the only precious thing i see

by shizuumi151 (orphan_account)



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-12-11
Packaged: 2018-01-02 21:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 19,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1061794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/shizuumi151
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After things are cemented over during regionals. Haru seems to have relapsed, so far so as to miss training. Rin pays him a visit to get him out of the house and in the pool. He intended to anyway. [OLD]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamxxdream](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=dreamxxdream).



> Hi guys! :) I decided to get some of my stuff into this lovely fandom by whipping up some RinHaru fanfiction :D Although it’s my first time, I know you guys are gonna be sweet and supportive about it <3
> 
> There are some themes in here that may be a little mature besides the future smex, and no gore or violence cuz I would never be able to stomach that sort of thing let alone write it. 
> 
> And most of all, I’d like to thank the amazingly wonderful person and Rinharu fic writer dreamxxdream.tumblr.com for being my beta-reader! Honestly if she didn’t help me throughout the way, this drabble may have never seen the light of the internet. Check out her fic here (http://dreamxxdream.tumblr.com/post/59858486052) if you haven’t already, it’s gorgeous and multichaptered and everything :D

Iwatobi was nestled between the fresh vitality of spring and the radiant warmth of summer: rays of light danced and pierced foliage as they rustled with the brush of a gale, scattering pinpoints on the clean, light gravel. It invaded the tranquil ambience and made the island crystalline and vivid. The sea’s salty scent wafted throughout the suburbs, injecting a peaceful energy consonant with the quaint wooden installations and low-rise buildings dotted all over Iwatobi. There wasn’t a soul in sight, yet the island had never looked more alive.

Haru absorbed the scenery as he sat on the porch in warm silence, droplets of water latching along his hair from his slaking, long bath. He had tossed on a faded purple hoodie with the sleeves rolled up and had changed into dry jammers

(The one that had the purple lines follow his hipbones; he didn’t spend much time choosing)

His face made a makeshift cushion out of his crossed arms, and his body slouched in on itself. But he radiated with this energy, this unseen force instilled in the atmosphere.

He had always enjoyed the view his house offered. There was a maze of pavements that comfortably melded to the island border, that juxtaposed buildings and stairs placed so that no two were quite on the same level. Beyond that, there was a sweeping view of the dynamic, impermeable glaze of the sea, a brilliance which found a way to be reborn in Haru’s blessedly blue eyes. It was massive, untouchable, and too far away from him. He gradually reached out his hand towards the vista, like a child fascinated with everything prancing out in a 3D movie theatre.

Always moving, yet always immaculate.

People never asked Haru why he had such a fixation with water (at least never to his face). If anyone wanted to sate their curiosity, Haru would easily give them reasons (albeit quickly; talking needlessly was time-consuming)

Water never discriminated him.

It sustained myriads of lifeforms: from the glowing rainbow of marine life flowing along with the depths of the sea to the bristly cacti that will never grace a body of water that offered more than sparse rain in its lifetime. And it could snuff life out all the same, suffocating without hesitation. It was accepting of all and none. Water didn’t pore over your troubles or happiness; it drowned out the meaningless commotion, the external senses, and it consumed the body in soothing encapsulation.

Water ensnared him.

Something more profound than a moth to a flame. How it was simultaneously so accepting, adapting, yet spontaneous: water could be smooth to the brush of a tentative finger, or unforgivingly hard at the smack of a poor dive. It could warm the soul and tantalise the skin, or chill the bone unforgivingly, surging from the dip of the toes up to the tips of every hair, sending waves of goosebumps along its slick wake.

Water mesmerised him.

It transformed constantly; still rivers, pelting rain, dripping faucets, rushing gorges.

All the while possessing a  _wicked_  clarity

How many possible states of being could it seamlessly adopt? When would water ever exhaust its…that sometimes docile, other times bursting magnetism?

_…like that beautiful waterfall…_

The background cry of a seagull washed over his senses, pulling him back onto the porch. 

He noticed his arm was still outstretched towards the sea.

His fingers lingered…and he tucked his hand back into his curled body. He blinked once…twice…then rose slowly out of his stupor.

He stood with the fluidity that naturally latched onto his every motion, but it was more deliberate than usual. He ignored the backache that blossomed from gazing at the sea.

_…I’m hungry…There should be some mackerel left…_

Haru’s feet patted softly against the tatami. He slid open the shoji and opened the refrigerator snug against the left of the stove.

"All out." Haru frowned minutely.  _I’ll have to buy some._

His eyebrows knitted together as he turned to glance at the calendar.

_I wanted to stay in until practice too…_

He huffed.

_How annoying._

He shut the refrigerator door and made his way through the house to his room.

Today was actually Thursday. In the morning when Makoto came to pick Haru up, he told him about missing school today.

_"Eh? That’s strange. Do you not feel well, Haru?" Makoto tilted his head at Haru who was soaking pensively in the bath. Nothing had seemed different, but Haru’s sudden statement had unearthed some of his unease for Makoto to see._

_"Yeah," he muttered, "Tell Amakata-sensei for me," He receded into the water until its surface stroked his lower lip. "Please."_

_Makoto’s eyebrows raised. Haru wasn’t rude per se, but he was certainly more forthright when he wanted something. And he usually never played hooky. The strange request and the tacked-on courtesy made the gears move inside Makoto’s head, clicking as he drew in a small breath._

_Oh…It’s that time again, isn’t it?…_

_It couldn’t have lasted longer than a second before his gently chiding smile returned._

_"Alright." Makoto started to head out, "I’ll bring back any homework we have later." He leaned back through the doorway again. "Will you come to practice today?"_

_"Yeah. I’ll be there."_

_"Okay then." Concern weaved into Makoto’s voice. "Feel better, Haru-chan."_

_"Will you ever stop adding the -chan?" Haru wondered with unconvincing irritation, chipping his stoicism away._

_Makoto giggled._

_"Sorry, sorry." he apologised half-heartedly._

_Haru studied the warm bathwater playing in the locks of sunlight for a moment before turning to address Makoto in the eye for the first time since he came to check on him._

_"Thanks, Makoto."_

_Makoto opened his eyes from laughing to reveal a little twinkle with his cordial smile._

_"Don’t mention it." he insisted politely before clicking the door to leave Haru with his peace._

_Haru stared at the surface of his bathtub while listening to Makoto’s padded steps fade into familiar quietude. He stilled for a count of 10 before he reclined completely, allowing the water to sheathe him from his lips to tickling his scalp and teasing out his hair. His whole body was receptive to each wave of the water as he floated in his peaceful abyss; the cold light of the bathroom mingled together with the fading warmth of the bathwater._

He absent-mindedly contemplated how his loose sheets of homework weren’t on his bedside table any longer as he rummaged around in his closet.

_Makoto…_

He threw on black board shorts, pocketing his wallet and zipping his hoodie up unhurriedly.

_15 minutes there and back._

Haru treaded down the stairs.

_30 minutes for mackerel._

He slowed for a moment as his featured twisted a little. He sneezed. He mused, out of sorts, before continuing on down. He slipped on flip flops and clicked the door open. The pouring sunlight made him squint a bit before he ambled to the grocery store.

 _Should be enough time.  
_ ____________________________________________________________

"Oi, Makoto."

Rin’s strident words cut cleanly through the amicable quiet in the locker room, save for the comforting background bickering between Nagisa and Rei and the splashes and whistles between the Samezuka and Iwatobi swim teams out at the pool. Makoto had went in to get a drink and Rin followed suit to ask something that had been nagging at him throughout practice. Rin stripped off his swim cap, ruffling his hair to shake out excess pool water. Makoto’s mouth popped from his bottle and he pulled up his head to meet Rin’s hard leer with a look of mild surprise.

"What is it, Rin?"

"Where’s Haru?"

"Oh."  _This was bound to have come up some time._  He patiently smiled up at him. “Haru doesn’t feel well today, actually. But he’s coming to practice later.”

Rin raised an eyebrow and frowned in disbelief.

"He’s going to come swim even though he’s unwell?" Rin asked bluntly.

"No, well…He’s not sick, he just doesn’t feel well today."

"He’s half an hour late."

He masked his sensitivity with harsh words.

(Ever the romantic.)

He didn’t doubt how Haru would uphold his promise to swim for the team,

(To swim together.)

but to miss an opportunity to swim was like deciding not to breathe for Haru.

Makoto tried to sidestep directly telling the truth as he opened his mouth, but Rin’s confused and determined expression that needed more elaboration than a repeat compelled him to withdraw in thought for a moment. Rin’s scowl ebbed away, revealing his disturbance. Makoto looked down, thumbing his bottle absently and looked up at Rin again as he asked himself the eternal question.

_Would this be best for him?_

He slowly reasoned to himself that out of everyone here, Rin would understand the most. Surely.

_Not even Nagisa or Rei know…But, it’s Rin, not some stranger._

Makoto opened his mouth once uselessly, then found resolve at the second time, words coming out calmly.

"…Today is the anniversary…"

_Is this the right way to put it?_

"…Of Haru’s grandma’s death."

He looked to the side after getting the awkward wad of words out, narrowly missing Rin’s face break out into sombre revelation.

"…So that’s what it was…" Rin stared at the splashes on the linoleum. A moment passed. The air held a bit more import; a whistle blew and a splash resounded in the distance as the next lap of training went by. ("Come on, let’s pick up the pace!!" Seijuurou’s boisterous voice boomed) "But at this rate he’s gonna miss practice…"

"He did say that he would come." Makoto said thoughtfully, "I didn’t expect him to be this late, honestly."

"I can go get him."

That brought Makoto’s head round, but it was so extraordinarily muted, so unlike Rin,  that it could have been from outside. He was still facing the ground with an earnest intensity when Makoto tried to search for the reason behind his unexpected inquisition.

An offer like this would usually be seen as intrusive into Haru’s personal life, but between Makoto and Rin, both had lost someone close in their lives. Both were intimately

(unfairly)

familiar with the workings of loss. Where bouts of emotion that seemed out of place were not unprecedented at all, where something unexplainably raw reopened the wounds that time had supposedly healed. And both understood that what would be better for a person who thought he had stopped grieving, and that was a fine balance between self-reflection and expending this…an anxiety, outside in activity than bottling it. Even for a practiced master of introspection.

(One Haruka Nanase.)

Both knew. But Makoto felt he could never hold a candle to Rin, what Rin had gone through at a tender age.

So when Rin met his focus, between a silent treaty of understanding and trust, that was when Makoto passed on an unspoken torch of responsibility to Rin with his trademark, benign smile.

"Okay, Rin. I’ll explain to the captain where you went."

"Aren’t you the captain for Iwatobi though?" Rin asked; a little smirk played at his lips that didn’t reach all the way through to his eyes.

A blink, followed by a chuckle. “I guess you’re right.” Makoto stood finally, and turned to look at the clock above the lockers. “You should be able to make it back in time.” he said as Rin quickly dried himself off with his red towel. “If you don’t though, it’s okay.” he reassured Rin as he was putting on his red-collared, black Samezuka polo and grey trousers.

"Why wouldn’t I make it back?" Rin asked, as he muffled the jangles of his keys and wallet in his pocket.

"I don’t know." Makoto answered honestly with a little shrug and smile. He received a confused pout from Rin before he left to get Haru.

"Rin-chan! Mako-chan~!" Nagisa bounded into the locker room with split-second timing, along with Rei following suit.

"Nagisa-kun, that’s rude! And don’t run like that, you’ll slip!"

"Hey, Nagisa, Rei." Makoto continued on genially.

"Hello, Makoto-senpai." Rei readjusted his glasses, polite as ever but still shot Nagisa a disapproving look.

"Are you guys okay? You were in here a while. Eh?" Nagisa put a hand over his eyes and scanned the room comically. "Where did Rin-chan go?"

"He went to get Haru."

Nagisa and Rei looked at Makoto at the simple, eye-opening statement.

"But…I thought Haruka-senpai was unwell," Rei voiced his disquiet with a faint question mark, propping up his glasses. "And it’s halfway through practice. Would it be wise to get him to swim?"

"Yeah! He wasn’t on the roof at lunch today." Nagisa had his fists balled up in front of his chest, and his cheeks puffed in worry. "Plus, don’t you usually go coddle Haru-chan?"

"He did say that he would come to practice today," Makoto justified, "Don’t worry yourselves about it."

He saw Rei’s face become vaguely sullen.

"But…"

But it quickly dissipated with Nagisa’s boisterous voice.

"Alright, let’s go then!" He grabbed Rei by his wrist and pointed resolutely towards an unseen horizon, "Haru-chan will be here soon and we still need to practise! Let’s gooo~!" He marched out towards the pool.

"What th-Wait, Nagisa-kun!" Rei stumbled (very un-beautifully) over himself by Nagisa’s deceptively strong grasp. "You’re going to make me trip!"

"Weak! How are you going to be a beautiful swimmer if you can’t keep up? Onward~!"

"Stop it already, please!"

"Loud as always." Makoto sighed amusedly to himself as he followed behind the squabbling juniors.

 _They should have a nice talk._  A comforting heat enveloped his skin as Mikoshiba flashed his whites through the shrill whistle at the swimmers’ energy. Makoto replaced his goggles and rejoined the lines at the blocks while Rin was lightly jogging out Iwatobi’s front gates. The same breeze cooled them, strengthening their respective resolves.  _They need that much._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An angsty Rin is a good Rin :) This chapter is a bit on the short side though… :/ There will be a bit of angst in this fic, but fluff and sexytimes will arrive in due time as well :D

Rin slowed to an urgent walk; his uniform wasn't made for running. He looked around the sparse but packed buildings for some familiarity, realising that he hadn't exactly asked for directions for his sudden compulsion to retrieve Haru.

"Aren't I smart?" he murmured lowly. He exhaled as craned his neck around for a building he recognised around the area as he walked along the pavement that bordered the sea, reducing to a saunter. His soles hitting the pavement slowed like a metronome with a growing weight. The horizon was a picturesque gradient of white to baby blue as a pale moon followed his path, waning along with his conviction. He walked for a minute or five, before slowing considerably to ask himself:

_What the hell am I doing?_

He fisted his hair in frustration and dug his other hand deep into his pocket with an accompanying groan, and balked completely. He closed his eyes so tight that purplish splotches stained the blackness.

_He's probably in the damn bath or something. What the hell is he gonna say? What the hell am **I**  gonna say?_

...

"Why are you in my house Rin?"

"Yo Haru, heard that you lost your grandma so I need you to swim."

...

_When will I be able to think for **5 fuckin' minutes**  before I do something stupid?_

Something deep-rooted sprouted inside him, a point in his chest that started to envelop him, his whole body, that made him want to scream. He unclenched his fist, opened his eyes immediately and sped up to find Haru in reflex, intermittently tensing his whole body to let the sting fade.

_Let's get this over with. Just gonna go in and get him out. He can't stay in there all day._

He pressed on through the street until he recognised a remnant of his route to school when he went to Iwatobi Elementary, but that didn't help him find out where Haru lived.

After 10 minutes, Rin growled in unadulterated exasperation.

_Screw this! I'm not some GPS! I can't find out where he lives! I'm just being a nosy little shit...!_

"Rin?"

His eyes shot open towards the speaker. He couldn't handle stress well evidently, because it had made him either addled enough to see illusions or conveniently lucky. Haru stood there, blue eyes wide and holding a bag of mackerel (probably, but it didn't merit real thought). Both mouths hung open in surprise as a passing gust of wind stole their voices away for an agonising 3 seconds.

_Speak of the fuckin' devil..._

"Yo, Haru."

Rin turned and regained some of his earlier frazzled composure, which didn't quell Haru's curiosity.

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you to swim."

"Oh...Has practice already started?" If Haru was nonplussed, then he didn't show it.

_Does this guy have no clue about time?_

"Yeah." Rin simply said, scratching the back of his head. "Actually, you've missed half of practice."

"Oh." Haru slowly nodded, as if to say  _I see_ , which for some reason greatly irritated Rin.

"'S that all you gotta say?" Rin asked quietly.

"Sorry. I lost track of time..."

Silence settled, permeated by the occasional crashes of the shore. Uncomfortably, but like always, time and time again. Rin clenched his hands until his knuckles were bone white in his pockets, but Haru was none the wiser.

"Sorry about your grandmother."

Haru's wandering eyes rested back on Rin, who was looking out at the foot of the sea.

"What?"

"Makoto," Rin interjected, "He told me. I...Well I..." He clutched his neck, wallowing in self-consciousness as Haru just stood to listen.

_Fuck, these **words**...!_

"It's not his fault, I kinda...asked. And he said you were gonna come anyway, but...yeah. So now I'm here. 'Cause...better you swim and get it out of your system sometime. Well that's-"

_That's how I did it._

"...That's why I came to get you."

A pause.

"I never told you, did I?"

Rin's tension loosened. For how plainspoken he was, that statement held a lot thought.

"Yeah," he chuckled dryly, "Kinda. Though, I wasn't around for you to say, so..."

_Best. Topic. To bring up. Dumbass._

"Sorry." Haru said.

"It's fine. Nothing to apologise about. Just...we oughta get going."

Haru raised his plastic bag.

"Can I eat first?"

"...You didn't eat lunch?"

"Yeah."

 _"The hell,_  Haru?! It's like," Rin whipped his wrist up,  _"4 o'clock_  right now!"

"I still haven't eaten."

"My god..."

"Come eat with me."

 _"Why the hell would I go eat with you?!_  We have practice to go to!"

"I'll put the mackerel in the microwave. 2 minutes."

_Called that._

"Bu-"

"Comfort me."

"FINE! Only 'cause I already spent  _15 minutes_  looking for you in the first place..."

"That long?"

_"Shut up and walk, Nanase!"_

A few shopkeepers poked their heads out at the commotion as Rin trudged alongside him as they headed for Haru's house. Rin looked at him out the corner of his eye; Haru was as unfazed as ever.

_I probably look like a joke next to this statue._

He swore that Haru hadn't changed that much (maybe a little after that rumble-and-tumble episode at regionals). Permanently windswept black hair, that timeless expression of apathy. Even though there were now pronounced features that made him different from the memories of a boy that only opened up to water, Haru was poised like always. Rin noted with dissatisfaction that he even still possessed the same lean build  **after**  his reminders to up his game now that he was back. But when he looked at Haru to say something,

"Oi, Har-"

when he saw those blue eyes dim and lightless, as if the sun had no effect, no place there on this striking day, Rin shut up.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." Rin looked ahead again. His jaw was set as he helplessly tried not to replay what he just saw over. And over. As if he saw that emptiness not too long ago.

They didn't speak for the rest of the way.

____________________________________________________________

Rin berated himself when he found how easy it was to get to Haru's place from Iwatobi High (given if he had known how). When they entered the house, Rin gave an appreciative "huh". As the first time going there, he had expected something more economical considering it was Haru, but he had enough tact to remember that he lived alone.

"Tadaima." Haru murmured, "I'll microwave the mackerel."

"Ojama shimasu." Rin uttered as he toed off his shoes. "I'll wait in here then."

It was only a step to the living room and the kitchen was a few metres away, divided by the shoji.

"There's an extra zabuton in the closet." Haru pointed as he walked into the kitchen.

"Oh. Got it, thanks."

He pulled it out and settled in it comfortably, sagging his shoulders with a sigh as the microwave's beeps echoed from behind.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter was a bit of a tease, so I decided to post the next one, which is more substantial. If you've read the chapters up till now, you know that it pans over a whole interaction, which is how this fic has ended up to be. It's long but I promise to make it worth your while :)
> 
> Lovin' me some flashbacks and fluff :D

His train of thought trailed from station to station, first being that he ditched swimming practice halfway for a guy that would never dream of sinning like that. After that, it was the grim understanding that Haru had lost someone close too, after he effectively lost his  _own parents_.

(It's never fair.)

Then it was to the grain of shame lodged in himself for feeling hurt

_(hurt)_

that he didn't know about Haru's grandmother, the part of him

(somewhere in the back)

that went beyond rivalry.

(But really, what was there more than that?)

Then it came to a screeching halt as his  _eyes_  came back.  _Those_  eyes. That stunned him in a completely different, curdling way this time.

The most maddening thing was that it didn't feel completely foreign. Like it was shoved in his mouth after he had a little taste.

So he kneeled there, rapt in thought, as he wasn't the only one under scrutiny in the room.

The whirring, ticking microwave seemed to slow as Haru threw glances over his shoulder more often than he felt he should have. He didn't mean it, but he was a practiced master of indifference. He didn't force it; it just came to him like how he would come to water. But when  _he_  came,

_(The flash of red in pool, he thought it was a trick of the water, that reappeared as another boy grinning on the pool deck and then a year later in his classroom._

_The tangle of red that tickled his shining white smile, with an uninhibited voice and bright red eyes that screamed:_

"My name is Rin Matsuoka!"

_The pierce of red that was all Haru could see when Rin cried in defeat on the hard floor that wintry day. When he literally spun his world around and pinned him against the clattering wire fence, his breath so close that it drilled into his mind. When his tears stained both their cheeks, and all Haru could do was look up at him in wonder._

_When he clutched him_  so tight,  _sobbing, like he was his last prayer on Earth.)_

kneeling against the tatami like he belonged there his whole life, something twisted at Haru's insides that forced out all the cumbersome words. All the things that would just lead to more annoyance and unneeded trouble. He _would_  dutifully ignore this...this displeasure otherwise, but

_Why **today**  of all days?_

Haru didn't want to feel like he was plotting a map of an uncharted sea, constantly anxious of what laid behind and ahead of him,  _today_. Today was when he was supposed to be alone.  _Especially_  alone. Why couldn't Rin see that? Honestly,

_He's so selfish._

Haru jerked his head to glower at the mockingly slow timer, his gut wrenched in a way that didn't resemble hunger.

Rin heard a small grunt come from Haru that stopped his pondering. But when he slowly pivoted around to ask, his eye caught on the gilded, silver trophy with a faded photograph on the simple wooden shelf.

That's when the sting returned.

It smacked him off his feet and knocked the air out of his lungs. Suddenly he was mercilessly barraged with memories,

_(He felt silly, but he couldn't help his smile get wider at the fact that guy who swum the fastest, most skilful freestyle he had ever seen in his life was in the_  same  _classroom as him_.

_He belted through his self-introduction, but at the back of his mind he wondered if he had ever seen eyes so_  blue.

_The fresh air pumped him up for his latest run, but he was surprised to find Haru skim past him. He wondered if he ran often as he called for him to wait up._

_The numbing shock of Makoto yelling over Haru's limp body in the grass seeped through him like cold water._

"If you swim with me, I'm going to show you a sight you've never seen before!"

_They had won together, after all that convincing. Rin clapped an arm around Haru in a victorious daze with the rush of a cheering crowd. He even forgot Haru said to him, and how he replied, but he looked away, annoyed as ever, as he realised the camera was there._

"And when we grow up, we can come back and dig it up again!"  _he looked up to see Haru looking at him._  "Romantic, right?"

_The results board flashed a yellow 9: Rin Matsuoka as he could only wonder how he could be getting worse. The jet lag wore off_  weeks  _ago._

_His fist hurt as he pounded the wet floor. He was so_  angry.  _A_  year  _in Australia, and he was still second to Haru...How could he ever achieve his dream?_  Dad's  _dream?_

_He dug up the trophy in the dark, abject swimming club. He cursed softly as he clutched his chest and a tear rolled down his cheek.)_

As his eyes widened in horror and his breathing became shallow. Everything melded in a sickening flash for a millisecond. He tensed uncontrollably and relaxed. Tensed. And relaxed. Against his will, like a palpitating heart, trying not to make a sound from the torment his mind viciously triggered.

"Gnn...!"

He breathed out shakily, releasing the tension. It felt like an eternity, but it lasted no more than a second or two. He shuddered, his shock turning into incessant dejection.

_Damnit._  Again?  _When am I gonna stop being such a_  loser...?!

He squeezed his eyes and clutched the hair at this forehead, feeling so  _ridiculous_. But thankfully his little episode had stopped as he calmed down, focusing on his breathing.

_This happens too damn often..._

"Rin, are you okay?"

_Oh right. He's still in the room, idiot._

He sighed, and turned completely.

"Yeah, it's nothing, I'm fi-"

He froze. And all Haru did was tilt his head.

"What is it?"

"Haru."

Rin's voice was completely deadpan as he loosely raised a finger at him.

"Why the hell are you naked?"

Haru looked down. "I'm not naked. I have my swimsuit on."

"Well  _yeah_  I can  _see_  that, but you kinda had  _clothes_  on two seconds ago!"

Haru realised his hoodie and board shorts had pooled at the edge of the shoji.

"Oh." He shrugged. "I guess its a habit."

_"Even when you have guests over?"_

Haru frowned. "It's not like you haven't seen me in my swimsuit before."

Rin pinched his nose, "My fucki-it's a bit DIFFERENT right now!"

"How?"

Rin spluttered noiselessly.

"WE-, BECAU- AGH, WHATEVER!" he threw his hands up for some force to just pull him up and out of the room to end his misery.  _"Fine!_  Your house, your rules! Yeah, just strip  _whenever_ , it's cool!" Rin groaned so audibly it nearly echoed as he sunk back onto his knees after being so passionately incredulous. Haru looked at him for a moment before turning back to the microwave.

"...Loud."

"Shut up."

A moment of hush.

"You just  _strip_  when you're in your house?"

"It depends on what swimsuit I have on the day."

"Figured you'd say something like that."

And finally a resonant 'ding!' sounded.

"Wait, you have different swimsuits?" Rin continued dubiously as Haru balanced the mackerel and some chopsticks while kneeling on his zabuton that was next to Rin’s. “Wait, sorry, I’ll move ‘round.” Rin started to stand, stopping when Haru shook his head.

“It’s fine.”

“Oh.” Rin kneeled back down, “Right.”

They settled into not talking again.

_I haven’t been in the same room with Haru alone before._  Rin idly noted as he eyed the mackerel warily.  _Alone, I think._

"Itadakimasu." Haru chanted before starting to eat.

_Either I'm yelling at him or we both shut up. Or I just pin him._  Rin mentally cringed, as he picked up his own chopsticks.

"Itadakimasu." he mumbled, before nibbling on some mackerel.

They both chewed away at the mackerel silently for a couple of minutes, before Rin twitched.

"Ha?"

"What is it?"

"What the hell is this, Haru? Is your microwave broken?"

Rin put his chopsticks between him and Haru, holding a little piece of slightly discoloured mackerel. Haru regarded it wordlessly. Then he leaned over, catching it between his teeth and delicately leading it in his open, relaxed mouth with his tongue so that he didn't even graze over Rin's chopsticks and chewed thoughtfully. He swallowed.

"Tastes okay..."

Rin's lips parted with an inaudible pop as his jaw went slack. A boil started at the pit of his stomach and his fingers starting shaking so much it was a wonder he didn't just  _drop_  them. He gulped thickly as the tips of his fingers smarted and his palms went distinctively clammy. For some reason  _everything_  just became more vividly  _acute_  like the lock of hair brushing Haru's forehead, his  _(very pink)_  mouth closed into a straight line back to that constant look of passivity, how his eyes tossed back some of the sunlight behind Rin into his own.

And how he had slightly leaned over in order for  _Rin to spoon-feed him mackerel_. For some reason.

And Haru  _(nearly fucking_  naked  _in his damn house!_ ) just  _looked_  at him.

"Rin?"

_"What?"_  he managed to get his voice out, although it came out a pitch higher than usual. He coughed. "What?" he tried again with a nonchalant shakiness in his voice.

"Are you seriously okay?"

_"Yeah,_  yeah. I'm fine. Just eat."

Haru lowered an eyebrow before continuing to eat as Rin snatched his head back to stare down at his mackerel as if silently begging for answers from it.

_WHAT THE **FUCK**  WAS THAT?_

Rin's vision went a little hazy from something more aching than nausea; he felt like he ran his morning route 5 consecutive times in a blink. Something thrummed in his ears and his heart bawled against his ribcage. His throat went so  _dry_  he swallowed again.

_Am I dying?_  Rin was panicking, bordering insanity, breathing heavily but made sure Haru heard nothing from him.  _What the hell is this?_

He violently shook himself.

_I need some water._

He stood up suddenly; Haru paused his eating and followed Rin with his gaze.

"I'm thirsty." Rin stated. "Where's your water, please?"

"In the jug on the counter." Haru nudged his head in the direction of the kitchen.

"Thanks." Rin walked. Haru chewed normally as he heard the comforting, light rush of water. He glanced as Rin plopped back down, forgoing the kneel and using his knee to prop up his arm with the glass.

He furtively watched him knock back the water with unusual vigour, eyeing a drop that missed its mark and trailed down his cheek and followed his jawline...down to his chin...and slowly disconnect, dropping to form a perfect dark circle on his trousers. He was certainly getting careless now, because more water was dribbling down the sides of his face...the column of his neck...the small valleys of his hard, smooth collarbone as his pink collar stained red, but he didn't seem to care.

Haru felt strange as he just kept looking at him out of the corner of his eye, seeing Rin crack open his eyes dully after clearing the glass with a gruff sound of quenched thirst. He roughly wiped his mouth of the spilt moisture that shone at the back of his hand and dripped down his fingers. His stringy, red hair curtained his face, but it didn't restrain the dim light of his eyes to leak through as his features became hard, his lips darker and shiny from the water and light.

His eyes moved back to his mackerel as his face felt strained. He didn't vicariously enjoy someone consuming water or being in it, because he was only satisfied if he was feeling its touch for himself.

_So why...?_

His brow furrowed as he kept eating.

_My cheeks hurt...Did I chew too much?_

Here were the the top swimmers of Samezuka and Iwatobi, flawlessly precise in their stroke and trade, sitting and eating mackerel together. And they dealt with their anxiety the only way they knew how.

_I didn't drink enough water after practice..._

_I guess I never saw water that way..._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, now we get some development goin' on! Heartwrenching and with tears that will make whoever reads this hate me, but development nonetheless (yeah i'm a sick monster okay it's what i do)
> 
> I love any and all of your guys support on this <3 :) I just hope you find my attempts at writing a fic entertaining :D Believe me now when I type this if you stick with this for a couple of chapters you'll find it rEALLY entertaining ;)
> 
> (By the way, for the best effect, carefully read the last thing that's said in this chapter)

A breeze graced the room to interrupt their thoughts. Rin took a gander at Haru's mildly moving form and reminded himself why he was here in the first place.

He looked at his own plate again and realised he had chunks of leftovers. He fiddled with them with his chopsticks, head resting on his fist as he carefully broached the elephant that had been unceremoniously wheeled back into the room.

"What was she like? Your grandmother?"

Rin gave a cautionary, fleeting look to see if he had set off anything. If anything Haru looked even more calm, which Rin found even more perturbing. He had set down his chopsticks, his plate clean save for the thin bony remains of mackerel. Haru was in a brown study, deeply contemplative as Rin watched, almost interested in Haru's response as if they returned to being schoolboys all those years ago.

The first action Haru took was looking straight at Rin, which disconcerted him to say the least. His eyes stirred like coffee stained with milk as Rin stifled an uncomfortable cough lodged in his throat. Then Rin registered that it wasn't him he was intently surveying, but what was behind him. He rotated his neck to find a notably expansive view of the outskirts of Iwatobi that was mostly dominated by the sea, but nothing else remarkable.

For the second time he could remember

(the first being when Haru flirted with death on the grassy ground)

he said nothing, and waited. It seemed like an age: the birds and the wind flew past regardlessly and endlessly, but he didn't dare move until Haru began to speak.

"She...was wise." Haru looked up in remembrance, as if he expected to see her beyond the roof of his apartment and in the clouds of the sky. "She was also pretty, even though she was a little old. She taught me...so many things. Probably everything they didn't say in school." He gazed at his fidgeting hands at his jammers, his face twisted in the endeavour to say the things that had always gone unspoken. And then he thought of something that broke the dam of dispassion he built himself unwittingly, that graced a smile on his face.

"Every adult I met told me about my eyes." he said it with a fondness that lured even more of Rin's focus. "Every one. I remember that I would always hate it, how they would bother me. When I complained to Oba-" Pause. "To her, she smiled. And she told me that our eyes were the same colour. She was the only one in my family with the same eyes. But I never thought her eyes were bad; they would light up whenever she would tell me another story or explain something new to me. They were really pretty. So I found all the adults that complimented me and thanked them."

Rin couldn't help but chortle, imagining little Haru going around, knocking on doors in classrooms, to say "thank you very much" tersely before finding the next person.

Haru puffed through his nose. "The last thing she really taught before she...left." He shifted in his spot, "She gave me one of the longest lessons ever. And she...she told me about the water."

Rin's eyes snapped open from being aloofly half-lidded. His whole body turned to Haru, who was smiling so unconfidently that he swore he saw a mirror. Of himself as a little boy, losing his father in the vast, dismal sea. Haru's eyes shimmered but his voice didn't have a single hitch as Rin would record his little speech, his only speech, as the most passionate thing Haru had ever said.

"She taught me about water never discriminates anything. How it nourishes and ceased life all the same. About how it didn't care for your troubles and just provided you an escape to another world. How water can be smooth to a finger or hard at a bellyflop. How it could be warm and comforting, or cold and freezing. She told me how water transformed constantly from streams to taps. And it remains clear throughout."

_("The water is alive. Once you dive in, it will immediately bare its fangs and attack. But, there's nothing to fear. Don't resist the water.”)_

Haru tucked his knees under his chin and loosely held onto his ankles, suddenly feeling like he was left wide open. "She even taught me about how nutritious mackerel is."

Rin blinked. He turned to the morsels on his plate and felt an indescribably great pang of shame weigh him down.

"After that she became ill; it was heart failure...

...She was very wise."

Rin looked back at him, trying to analyse what Haru felt. Even though he had lost his father, he couldn't help but feel that it was different for Haru. Even though his demure smile still remained, he still felt an unrecognised note of...something unfinished.

"...Is it why...?"

Haru looked at him before he could take back what he said. Rin hissed at himself before being obligated to continue a thought that had occurred to him.

"I mean" His hand flew to the back of his neck, "...I noticed you didn't say...Obaa-chan..."

He felt foolish; it was nothing to shake a stick at. Rin had thought that that omission was a little strange, honestly, so he had just blurted it out. He got the lack of titles and honourifics in Australia, but...it felt a little out of place. A little more than a meaningless grouse.

_I think._

He saw that Haru was at a bit of a loss at this observation  _(But the guy actually has an expression on his face…)_.

"...'S that why you don’t like it? Like, with Nagisa and Makoto calling you that all the time?...I mean, you never seemed-I guess you found it annoying, but-I donno..."

_What do you think you are, some crack psychologist?_

Haru regressed back into his introversion, as Rin only sighed a little.

_What sort of bull was that? Like I know what makes him tick._

But it started to eat away at Haru. Slowly. It was almost unnoticeable at first, as he focused to recall something extremely deep-rooted. But it was utterly, mindlessly clear when it came.

_(“Tadaima, Obaa-chan!”_

_He heard small dabs on the tatami, before a graceful woman entered around the corner. An air of refined dignity perfectly moulded with infectious affection swept the room whenever she entered. Streaks of white ran through her raven hair as it framed her face with a loose bun, highlighting how her light crow's feet crinkled with the gleam of blue eyes that stole the air from anywhere she entered. She held the beauty of youth while retaining the import of wisdom, she stood straight and proud, while sweetly relaxed. She loved wearing long cardigans no matter the weather, and Haru loved burying into them, that warmed him along with her laughs. They were an assortment of beautiful, pale colours, but the one she wore the most was her blue one._

_Haru insisted that she was very tall; his head only reached her mid-thigh, and that was if he tip-toed. But everytime he told her that, she just tittered. But that was okay, because he knew it was true._

_“Okaeri, Haru-chan.”)_

And then this consuming...  _sickness_  started piling up in him at an exponential rate. His eyes grew quite large at this retching invasion.  _Very_  large.

“...Haru?” Rin had reacted quickly enough to see Haru’s expression begin to crumble.

_(Haru was nearly entering primary school. Iwatobi Elementary was so big compared to kindergarten._

_“When you’re 10,” Haru’s grandmother imparted thoughtfully, with Haru hanging on her every word like they were his lifeline. “They call you a prodigy. When you're fifteen, they call you a genius. Once you hit twenty, you're just an ordinary person.” she turned to look at Haru, who was listening attentively and expectantly._

_He didn’t really understand, but it sounded so impressive and truthful. Whenever he would say he couldn't, she would just reply with ‘You will soon, don’t worry’ with a sincerity that washed away any doubts he would ever have in her._

_"How do you know so much, Obaa-chan?"_

_"I don't really know much, Haru-chan." Haru's grandma insisted with tender smile, "You just find some things interesting after you live to my age."_

_“You’re not old, Obaa-chan.” Haru pouted. He didn’t like it when Obaa-chan kept saying that._

_She beamed at him.)_

Haru started gasping, grabbing his chest for whatever seized him and squeezed the breath out of him to release as he slowly teetered forward.

"H-Haru? What's wrong?!"

_("Obaa-chan," Haru tugged at his grandma's sleeve, tears threatening to spill from his puffy eyes, "Why did Mom and Dad leave again?"_

_His grandma kneeled down steadily, padding away his tears with her fleecy cardigan, and softly smiled as Haru sniffled; a confused and lost little boy._

_"They have to do some work, I'm afraid. But it's okay. We'll have fun together, right?" Their foreheads touched as dazzling blue eyes met, one pair blurred with tears and one pair brilliantly subdued. "They say that when you cry for someone, someone else is crying for you." She told him as if he was the only person who would ever know that._

_A loud sniff._

_"Is that true, Obaa-chan?"_

_"I would never tell you something untrue, Haru-chan." she twinkled sweetly at her darling grandson. "Would you want someone to cry over you?"_

_"Well...But doesn't that mean they care for me?"_

_Her laugh was sparkling._

_"You're absolutely right. But that means they're sad for you. Let's not be sad anymore, okay?" she nuzzled him affectionately as he broke out into giggles._

_"Yeah.")_

Rin had gotten ahold of him as Haru tried to clutch at something to stop the room from spinning. Rin was yelling something, but Haru was so astray. The floorboards had exploded and disappeared from his feet as  _something_ had been ripped out. But he wouldn't ever have any idea what, as he just hung in his daze.

_(He was going into junior high soon, so the lessons had stopped some time ago. Even though he had always liked them. And his science teacher had disapproved of these lessons' validity. He never liked science._

_Obaa-chan was getting a little slower with each passing day, but she still had the same smile and same sparkling eyes as ever. When Haru left for school that day, he went to visit her bedroom as usual._

_"I'm going to school now, Obaa-chan." His voice had a slightly deeper undertone than when he was smaller._

_She turned her head weakly to him and had the most brilliant beam he had ever seen from her._

_"Have fun at school today. I love you, Haru."_

_"I love you too, Obaa-chan."_

_The phone call came at lunch.)_

Haru ended up with his hands on Rin's shoulders, as Rin looked pleadingly at him, staying stone-still.

_("I love you, Haru.")_

Haru saw something drip onto his swimsuit and the only thought that meekly entered his mind was that there wasn't any rain around. He brought his hand to his cheek to find it hot with tears. He feebly brought his head up to look at Rin, who had witnessed...all of this. He couldn't even see his expression through the onslaught of blurring, burning tears.

But he knew that he was all he could see.

Haru was so  _frightened_.

(What felt like the first time ever)

He felt so  _alone_.

(Something that never mattered)

And he felt so  _ashamed_.

(He wanted to dive in the water and never come out)

For the first time, he sobbed.

"Rin..."

Haru lurched, and held him painfully close. His body was on autopilot; all he knew was he needed someone there before he flew completely off the handle, before he completely lost himself to a darkness that didn’t shield him anymore. Even though he lost his whole sense of reserved dignity, even though he felt the shame and the sadness would eat him alive, he still knew.

He needed him there. And he held onto him so that he wouldn't ever disappear. Not again. Especially not now.

Rin clasped his arms around Haru's back, hugging him and feeling the tiny, desperate cries puncture his soul as he could feel every sob rack through Haru's shivering frame. Haru's weeps were the only sound punctuating the room. And Rin was so depressingly convinced that even Haru snapping and bellowing everything would be so much less bleak as he broke down maybe even quieter than he ever was before.

As his repressed shudders reduced to trembling and his cries died out into sporadic sniffs, everything was quiet like death. Rin blankly realised how the shoulder that Haru's head was buried grew damp as he unintentionally nosed some of Haru's hair.

"............Rin...?"

It was barely a ghost of a whisper.

"Mm?"

".........Did you break me?"

Rin hugged him tighter.

"...Maybe."

The room went still again.

"......I..."

"Yeah?"

"...I miss Obaa-chan..."

He felt the dampness grow as he vacantly looked down at the empty zabuton. He shifted a little so that Haru would be a little more tucked in, a little more protected, as he registered that Haru’s skin had stopped fluttering.

“...I know.”

And they sat there like that. Maybe for seconds, minutes or hours. Maybe the intense white sun had dimmed into a warm orange evening, and maybe the classic, churning sea had receded in waiting for one of them to feel out of place, to say something to break the unwieldy, fragile situation.

But neither of them felt so whole before. So human.

This surge of emotion welled in Haru, and spilled out to make him get the words out. He  _had_  to get these words out, to let him know.

"Rin, I..."

He felt Rin's ears perk up.

"I..."

Rin nudged him to finish the sentence.

"Yeah, Haru?"

"I...L...you..."

Rin's pulse spiked.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In celebration of the beautiful FrFr! preview that made me lose sleep, I would like to present to you the next chapter :D This one's for InieDark on ff.net, who left a lovely review when I felt discouraged <3 How fast I post the next one will depend on the reception on this one ^_^

“I...L...you...”

Rin’s jaw quivered uncontrollably as it partly unhinged, and his fingers were combing the border of of straining themselves to pieces around Haru.

_WHATTT??_

It was impossible; it couldn’t haven’t been a timid, phonetic “le” he had just heard from the guy whose breath had become torturously conspicuous on the nape of his neck, that followed an "I"  _( **HARU**...!)_  and before a "you" _( **ME**...!?)_.

_(Everything became nauseatingly graphic again._

_He could count the number of hairs on his head lodged in his scalp that stung from electricity._

_He could measure in millimetres the repeated rise and fall Haru's naked back._

_He could feel the moisture rip away from the air that left his skin raw and prickling with hypersensitivity,_

_How his legs were dangerously close to cocooning Haru's snug body_

_How he could outline Haru's slender fingers pressing into his skin through the suffocating fabric of his shirt and everything was going white...)_

His mind was  _reeling_  with the mere concept of-

_Fuck, I can’t even say it in my **head**!!_

His breaths became shallow and hard; the acid seared his stomach again.

_Shit! Not again...!_

He wondered which force up there despised him so much as all Haru could think was:  _I need to say this. I **need**  to tell him..._

_Why would he say that?! Has he snapped?! Why would he ever-why would **I**  ever…!!_

(Why  _would_  he ever?)

He should have pushed him away, out of his painfully parching hold. He should have swiftly explained how he didn’t swing that way, not for that team. He should have talked to him about how his grandmother’s death had done a chaotic number on his feelings and Haru would have agreed to exactly that. Then they would have argued because Haru would want to go in the bath again and Rin would gently drag his ass to the pool so they can race and Haru would feel the stress leave his system. Everything here would be just the most misconstrued situation of his adolescent life that'd be an anecdote for many,  _many_  years down the line.  _Nothing_  would be as scalding as this moment, like his brain had been thrown in oil to deep-fry, so he should have pushed him away.

He nearly choked back a sob when that was exactly what he didn't do.

_Shit, what am I doing...?!_

He could have won some award for his façade, he swore. He could lead a class on  _How to Not Instantly Reveal That You've Entirely Lost Your Shit 101_. Because it was only an instant before his ultimate, visible reaction was only an unsteady reply.

"What?"

Rin waited in torment. Time dragged on and laughed with mirth at the sad sap in the face.

_My fuck, just **say**  it already, please...!_

_ (but I thought you didn't want him to) _

He stood stock still at the wording of his thought, the implications that could be read very wrongly as...as...!

_(...excitement...?)_

_Fuck, what am I thinking?! I don-I never...!! **Agghh!!**_

( _His black hair fluttered, his face had speckles of dirt and his blue eyes shot through the dazzling light straight into Rin's vision that snapped to focus from his tears._

_But his face was set as ever. With determination._

_His arm was outstretched just for him, for this wretched, broken, shitty athlete, as sakura petals meandered in the wind._

_"...I'll show you a sight you've never seen before."_ )

"I'll repay you."

Haru's voice cleaved Rin's insanity.

Rin could have sworn that his eyes weren't squeezed shut before, but a blinding light flashed and faded into the now duller colours of the room, where everything reverted to its lacklustre tinge. Something heavy dropped to the pit of his stomach

(relief...?)

as biting confusion doused him from his emotional high.

_"Huh?"_  Rin said dumbly.

Haru saw it fit to pull away from him to speak to him face-to-face, a fact which Rin barely got through to his frazzled mind. Haru regained some of his serious demeanour; he was going to say this properly.

"I'll repay you." He repeated slowly; he didn't want his voice to lose out on him now. "You...you helped me." Haru nearly shied away from Rin's crimson stare. "You helped me a lot. Not once did I...I mean..."

_Why are words so difficult...?_

"I  _did_  grieve for Obaa-chan. But, it was...too much." Haru admitted his weakness with chagrin. "Makoto was there for me, but I turned him away. He already had his fear..."

_(Makoto had stopped walking when he told him. The sky was dull that day. They were by the bridge where Haru leaped off not too long ago, where the river took on a churning, dark tint. Haru had to stop walking to school as well, his back facing him._

_Makoto was at a loss. He stepped forward; His hand decided to rest on Haru's pendulous shoulders._

_"Haru...I'm so sorry for your loss...Obaa-cha-"_

_"Don't be." His reply took a second. "It-" A frown. "Don't feel bad. It wasn't your fault or anything. Just don't feel bad..."_

You lost your friend...and you're terrified of the sea, the water...I won't make you feel bad)

Rin nodded indistinguishably. He wasn't too far gone to forget the sheer terror he thought no carefree schoolboy could ever put on his face.

_("Wake up!" Tears streaked down Makoto's face as Haru remained unresponsive. Rin felt like a total stranger, an unwanted voyeur, blankly witnessing Makoto scream . "_ Please  _wake up! **Haru!** ")_

"He was already troubled with me. I didn't want to burden him even more. I couldn't do that to him..." Haru searched the ground, wondering if this was right, what he was doing for possibly the first time to a quiet Rin. "So, I guess-the feeling-it...it went somewhere deep...locked away." he made scorching eye contact that burned Rin to the core; he bit back a wince. "...you...do you understand?" Haru said it so softly that Rin could have buried himself in his voice and never come out.

_(And they dealt with their anxiety the only way they knew how)_

Rin was sorely tempted to shake his head. Sorely tempted to launch into another pathetic, cathartic outpouring to boldly announce how he had been in physical torture ever since Makoto told him the news. Maybe

(terrifyingly)

Even long, long before that.

_(He belted through his self-introduction, but at the back of his mind he wondered if he had ever seen eyes so_  blue  _before.)_

But he was  _such_  a liar. He figured it out; he was thick, not emotionally deficient. He knew why he felt rampant pain.

(As soon as he realised he was precious.

Precious like a glittering diamond dug out of a world of choking, black coal.

As soon as he realised that all he could see was

the precious blush adorning his otherwise pale, flawless face after he wept on him.

the way his eyebrows threatened to pull together to display his precious emotion to him.

the thick, long lashes that framed the precious blue, that had a lone, clear tear perilously hanging above his tinted cheekbone, beckoning him.

_how his precious, bare body nearly perched over his_

As soon as he realised that

he was the only precious thing he could see.)

_Oh **shit**..._

Relativity was the cruelest jester; he could have died from how long it took to sink in.  _(I...!Haru...! **fuuu-!** )_.

Cold fear grabbed and twisted his insides. Nothing would be the same, not now that he became conscious of Haru and himself. He felt a pinch at his eyes, imagining Haru's look of condemnation and piercing  _disgust_  if he ever found out that  _Rin_... _liked_  him.

_Everything's going to absolute shit from here. How the hell am I supposed to do **shit**  when he does  **this**  to me!?_

but it was only a split-second after that Rin considered spilling, to just let Haru see how disgusting he was to be so self-absorbed when Haru was bereaving so he didn't have to see him and feel pain ever again.

( _'Or never telling my rival who I've made feel like shit countless times that I suddenly realise that he's sorta hot works too.'_  was the bitterly sardonic afterthought)

when Haru darted his head to the side.

"I mean, of course, your Otou-san...You would understand. Although you were more open about it," he smiled melancholically, "Then again, you were away when it happened. And I put it away when we had our reunion...the feeling..."

That put a stand-still to Rin's internal war, if only for a moment, but it quieted the raging fire inside him.

(How could he light it and extinguish it all the same?)

That sentence blew Rin out of the water: the regret for the unchangeable that laced his tone mixed with a twinge of sadness.

_This is the same stony guy I saw earlier today?_

It was a drastic change, yet at the same time it wasn't. He still had a voice filled with composed strength and he moved like the flow of a river: no matter what obstacles he had to pass or what laid ahead, he passed it by all the same. This one sentence, exposing just a simple sentimentality, just proved that he didn't forget them.

And it made one thing clear for Rin.

_I may be the most messed up guy I know, but this bastard needs more help than my whiny ass does._

_(He comes first.)_

"Har-"

"But now you're here."

"-uh?"

"I said it before didn't I?" His tone was simple, like it was plainly obvious. Haru's small smile remained, and Rin realised it wasn't melancholic anymore. It was... _fond_. "You helped me. More than you know. You let me remember Obaa-chan like...like she deserved to be remembered. And now...I..." Haru clutched his chest. He was still very new to this. "I feel..."

His face moulded into thought, and then he had an idea, a sentiment that fit what sung in his heart.

Haru chuckled ( _shit, help me, he fucking **chuckled**._ )

And Rin swore he would never forget that moment. When his eyes broke open and lit up with an intense light of  _happiness_ , hand over his cream, lithe chest and kneeling right there, two feet away, he said in charmingly broken English:

" _I Feel Free!_ "

_...!_

Rin was winded and his rational thought was down for the count. Because he could  _not_  have  _possibly_   ** _ever_**  witnessed

_the stupidest, cheesiest-most ~~adorable~~ **ridiculous**  fucking thing...!_

come from  _Haruka Nanase_.

He had to have shown  _some_  of his reaction to... _that_ , because Haru reddened slightly, feeling a little light-headed from all the expression.

"You-You probably did break me," Haru conceded. "But that's...a good thing." Haru showed his resolution, breaking out of his embarrassment, "So I'll repay you when I can, one day."

When Rin came around, he loathed himself. He loathed how selfish he was in the face of Haru, who had just made the most extreme expression of gratitude for Rin, who just aimed to get him to swim. He loathed how a fragment of himself felt repugnantly  _glad_  that he was the only one that Haru was ever like this with before, how he got a one-up on Makoto. He loathed how he  _revelled_  in the affection, and how part of him never wanted to leave Haru's side.

He loathed himself so much.

That's why he decided to just keep it far away, where it couldn't cause any trouble; not for him, nor for Haru. He wouldn't rain on Haru's parade; it wasn't about Rin today.

_A few boatload more of emotions can't kill me..._

So he resolved himself, standing slowly, his joints aching and his backside numb from being stationary. He readied the lock and key as his nerves trembled in the corner, his nerves that didn't want to be constrained even more than before but he couldn't care. He was filth. He didn't deserve any luxury, any entertainment of a fantasy, of ever being remotely more than a rival. His speech was restrained.

"It's okay, Haru." he looked at the table as he stood fully, feeling Haru's growing gaze on him. "I just helped you like I should have." he put on a hollow smile, "You showed me the best sight I'd ever seen before, yeah? That's enough of a repayment."

He headed for the hallway. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to leave, but it didn't matter where his feet took him. Just away from Haru, and it would have been fine...

"But-!"

Rin stopped mid-turn for the hallway, to be taken aback by Haru's wounded look and his raised voice die in his throat.

"But that isn't...! I..." Haru kneeled up quickly, desperate for his audience. "I said all this for-to let you know that it isn't enough!" Haru looked sheepish as Rin looked at him like he had gone mad but that didn't mask the hurt, as he sat back onto his heels. "Don't you understand...?"

Haru had put his heart on the line for Rin. It wasn't to do with the sight nor swimming; it was to do with him, with  _them_. To be dismissed like that, and so quickly too; to be brushed aside, saying that he already did enough...it killed him. It made him want to cry out the truth, but that's also exactly what he didn't want to do. This fear of misunderstanding, even after all he had said...it made him wonder vacuously,

_Did he feel like this...?_

When he didn't react how Rin had expected nor wanted when he lost back in Samezuka? When Haru just deemed him annoying when he called him out to talk, to ask him to swim? When he didn't laugh at Rin in pity...?

"Am I the reason you're in so much pain?"

Haru soundlessly gasped at himself; now he had done it. He got carried away. The privacy of his thoughts shattered at the mumble he let loose, and his vision scrambled back up to look at Rin, to hope to anything above that he  _did not_  hear that.

He wouldn't be so lucky.

Rin wanted to vanish. To evaporate into the suddenly humid air where no one would pay him such a dislocating look. Not only did he just trample all over Haru's effort to thank him, but that last mutter that left his lips that were open in surprise now...

_**how**...!?_

Rin grabbed at his red locks in furious, contained rage at himself. His nerves saw how he hesitated with the key and let loose with ardour. But he didn't scream. Not out loud at least. His knees buckled and they let way for him to just squat on the ground, shaking.

"How...?  _How...?_ " his quivering voice went in a small crescendo of inhibited anger that leaked through his words.

Haru looked on in a dazed shock. This isn't what he wanted to happen. He wanted Rin to be happy, to know that he was grateful. Not this. Not anything like this. This is why he hated to speak, because the whole delicate, already dysfunctional dynamic between them was shattered again. But he was too astonished to consider going back into his shell, because something had been consuming Rin that made a muted explosion in him.

"Rin?"

" _ **How!?**_ " Rin cried out, making Haru jolt. But Rin wasn't looking at him, he was punching the ground uselessly, as if his words were directed to it, not Haru. Tears hit the ground, as Rin sniffed loudly, unevenly sobbing out the bombshell that had been poring over him the whole time.  _"How did you even **know**  how to say that?! I was supposed to come comfort you and drag your ass to the pool and race you so you feel better! But now- **now**  it's the other way 'round!"_ He snuffled grossly, as Haru was paralysed with confusion. He wondered if this was really how potent his words were as Rin continued ranting.  _"It's **always**  the fucking other way 'round!! Because I'm a weak, selfish bastard! I don't need your thanks! I don't  **deserve**  your thanks! I'm a sick, broken piece of  **shit**  and... **and**...!"_  He gagged on his words, as Haru was torn about what to do.

"Rin, I-"

_"You **are**  the reason I'm feeling pain! Fuck, that's the only thing I've felt since-since fucking  **forever**!"_

Haru's words coldly plummeted back down his throat, his mouth opened and closed without function as his head swirled with interpretation.

_It **is**  my fault...?_

Rin violently wiped his eyes, grimacing at himself.

"You know," He sobbed. "You know the  _worst_  thing about this shitfest?" He looked at Haru out the corner of his eye, and Haru froze with the contact.

His eyes were bright with inferno as his mopped hair tried to cover the shameful, open display. His posture was defeated and crushed as he fisted the fabric of his trousers stained with teardrops. This wasn't like at regionals. It was so much more unguarded and vulnerable, so tender with emotion that it quaked through Haru.

Haru didn't want to see this Rin. Never this Rin. His breath hitched.

(He wanted to see the precious part of him that he dug deep all those years ago that shone through before.

Precious like a lake of gleaming water in an endless, sweltering desert.

He wanted to see his precious, freakishly pointed teeth shown in a cheeky grin again. Not menacingly revealed through a self-deprecating sneer.

He wanted to see his precious smile light up the room. Not a frown that drained the life out of him.

He wanted to see his precious laughter to rip through the room with a energy of unbridled joy. Not broken wails deploring himself to echo through.

He wanted to see his precious, red eyes shine with happiness at swimming together. Not for them to swim in salty, brimming tears.

he was the only precious thing he wanted to see.)

Haru became vacant at his thought, only to receive another left hook from Rin.

"It isn't even your fault..."

They both paused for unnervingly similar reasons.

Time passed by differently in Haru's living room; there was a warping effect that made everything painfully slow to a crawl. Rin was emotionally spent and Haru was perplexed beyond thought; he could only imagine what Rin had meant by just now...

_I cause him pain...but it's not my fault...?_

"What...?"

Rin's face blazed under Haru's scrutiny, but he already completely lost face in front of him.

_As if it matters anymore. Do or die, Matsuoka._

"You drive me fuckin' insane, that's what. Even when you're not  _there_  you still drive me insane! I hear that you're mourning and then I just snapped. I see you in the damned streets and I feel like I'm gonna explode with I don't know even  _what_  and then we come here, and you STRIP out of fuckin'  _nowhere_ , then..."

He flushed even more scarlet at the memory of Haru's tentative, soft lips open and his eyes shut and tongue slightly darting out as he leaned to his chopsticks.

_Yeah, skip that._

"Then I see you lose your shit and you cry a river out and then-THEN you go  _'I Feel Free!'_  and  _fuck_  Haru do you have  _any fucking clue_  what you  _do_  to me?!"

Rin turned to face Haru, but his eyes were darting around. Haru just weakly followed Rin's loud admission, still trying to make sense of everything he had just sense.

_What I do to Rin...?_

Haru only wanted to hug Rin. He wanted to tell Rin that he was sorry for whatever he did to him, sorry for being clueless, sorry for not understanding. So when Haru leaned over and lost his balance and when he spoke in an unintentionally velvety undertone,

"What do I do to you, Rin?"

as he trapped Rin beneath him, shadowing him with his own body and privy to Rin's face turn unabashedly crimson, he thought in a jarring wave of Rin's trousers brushing against his shins and jammers and his arms confined Rin's suddenly very small body,

_That wasn't what I was going for..._

But he continued on; he needed to get an answer, to understand. He breathed out his plea, afraid of scaring Rin off again.

"Tell me what I do to you..."

_I don't know...and I never want to see you hurt again..._

"please..."

Amongst the roaring bedlam that erupted in Rin's mind, there was still one fragment of him that still had some snark.

_Shit, I must've unlocked some seme in him._

The thought quickly got sucked into the whirlpool of chaos in his head. An unwholesome groan escaped from his shuddering throat, his skin was in flames as Haru's eyes bore straight through through his skull. He tried to squirm, but his body wasn't responding to him anymore; it was too consumed by the feel of Haru's body surrounding him, how his skin touched him and his arms caged him.

If his sanity had left the room, now it came back just to leap out of the window and never see the hope of returning.

_"Fuck..."_  Rin whimpered breathlessly.

He grabbed Haru's lusciously soft hair and jerked his head down into a searing, explosive kiss.

Haru stifled a gasp as he felt a bursting tingle unfurl from his lips where Rin's were unmistakably planted. His grip on reality grew even tighter, how he felt every point of Rin's fingers clutching his head close to his, as his rationality faded. And only one thought ran through his mind before he wrapped his arms around Rin to pull as humanly close as possible to him as his chest brushed against the tactile fabric of Rin's polo that was the thin, brushing barrier between their skins.

_Oh  
_


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first time writing NSFW stuff; I only hope you enjoy it :)

The sounds of their wet lips melding against each other, popping with shaky, hot breaths was the only thing that could be heard in the room, with Rin's clothes rustling and shifting with every press of their bodies against each other. Their eyes were shut in the immense sensation of the overwhelming, delicious touch from each other's burning mouths and exploring fingers, heatedly kissing more and more to compensate for everything that went wrong, that went unsaid.

The noises they made were few but obscenely guttural; Haru's grunts from intense pleasure went in Rin's open, scalding mouth as Rin's moan vibrated through Haru's body in response. Somewhere inside they rebuked themselves about how defenceless the sounds escaped their mouths were; somewhere very deep inside that didn't warrant current attention. They held onto each other, the only two people left in the world, lapping up the sinful feel of their tongues snaking around each other in a fiery dance. Everything was wonderfully pressed together: their chests were flush against each other, their legs tangled together, knees occasionally adding delicious, fortuitous pressure to their crotches that made them both curb to let out a muffled cry of soaring electricity coursing through each other.

Everything was beautiful; even though their teeth clicked together and their noses bumped at times, nothing was more right in the world than this very moment. Everything just poured out fluidly. It was too much to take, yet it was barely enough for them. They whispered each other's name whenever, if ever, they paused to breathe for their debauchery, rolling off their tongues as if it were something completely natural and sacred.

_"Rin..."_

"nggh... _Haru..._."

They weren't skilled nor practiced at this; this was the farthest any of them had gone when it came to intimacy. But it let something distinctly raw and instinctual take over instead in a blinding crash, they just attacked at each other's lips in a whirlwind of need.

Haru pulled away to catch his breath, and Rin opened his eyes at the momentary loss of touch. He saw how Haru was still towering over him, his face coloured from the high and eyes were glassy with longing. His skin, from his face twisted with carnal desire to his bare, heaving, toned chest, had a sheen of sweat. He drunk in the rare sight vigorously, before some sense managed to sneak in at the little break in contact.

_...his grandmother..._

Rin's eyes were no longer lazy with libido. He sat up slightly to place his palm on Haru's chest, trying extremely hard to ignore how good the swell and fall felt against his suddenly sensitive hand. He looked Haru in the eye, noticing how his vision had gone a bit bleary.

"Haru...we shouldn't," he paused a moment, realising he was panting from their session, swallowing before continuing. "Do this...not when you feel..." Rin shook his head weakly, helplessly trying to put his point across.

Haru had to pool all his efforts in order to focus on Rin's words, and not how his lips were a sensuous, swollen red, his hair fell back on the floor to frame his face and his brow slightly pulled together in a concerted effort to say something. Also not how he could outline the palm on his very naked chest and how his semi-tight shirt was tantalisingly revealing some of his midriff after being pulled up by their friction.

After a while, Haru could understand why he would think that. It warmed his heart even more, if it were still possible, to know that even in the midst of all this Rin would still be concerned for him. But the decision was amazingly effortless. He dipped his head back in to kiss the breath out of Rin, who groaned in delight and swung his arms around Haru's neck fervently. After another few minutes making out heatedly, they had stopped long enough to realise that they were having a conversation earlier.

"It's okay...Really..." Haru managed the words through his shallow breaths, "I'm fine. You...I want to do this." He leaned over and whispered to him, nuzzling his ear and feeling the hairs raise on Rin's scalp. "I  _really_  want to do this."

" _Shit...!_ " Rin's mutter came out deeper this time, hitting a tone that sent a shiver through Haru's body. He felt a grab on his arms, a spin, and a sudden thump on his back in a blink, realising that Rin had turned the tables around. He looked up to see that Rin's face was dark and eyes bright with something immoral that shot tingles through his spine.

"Ri-"

He was quickly shut up in the best way possible. Rin growled through his teeth as his arms coiled around Haru's frame, and Haru became dimly aware that he may have set something off in Rin while he tried to match his pace.

"Rin...!"

" _Tell me to stop._ " Rin was pleading in hushed, scattered tones between passionate kisses that left Haru so weak. "Tell me to stop or I swear to god I'll  _devour_  you."

Haru breathed in deeply after a rare break; everything inside him was shuddering and all his nerves were singing, all he could hear was their gasps and the blood pumping through his head before Rin dived in again.

"Everyday I lose my mind over you.  _Every_ day." Rin moved to suck at Haru's neck, trailing his tongue around deftly as if it were all his as Haru nearly yelped with the surge of the wet, red-hot claim. Rin suckled heartily like a newborn as Haru involuntarily thrashed at the torrential stimulation.

"uhn...! Rin, n-not  _there_...!" The words came out in a high-pitched, tremulous imitation of his normal voice, which excited Rin even further.

"Oh?" Haru could trace the evil grin at his pulse as Rin chuckled huskily and continued his barrage relentlessly. Haru blushed furiously at the sounds of Rin practically slurping his neck and how he never knew how  _sensitive_  it was. Haru tried to cover his mouth to block anymore embarrassing noises he would make from the onslaught, but Rin clasped his arm as hard as he could without hurting him before he could reach his lips.

"Wh-"

"Don't." Rin murmured into his neck, and Haru jerked at the way his lips slid over his skin so carelessly like Rin couldn't see his every volatile reaction. "I wanna hear  _everything_." He went back up to peck his cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids and lingered at his mouth. "I wanna show you what you do to me." He stressed his point by rolling his smothered erection against Haru's, who threw his head back so fast pain stung at the back of his head and let out a strangled cry at how the thin spandex of his swimsuit and Rin's dick made such stunning friction. Rin repressed his hiss, exhaling loudly through the gaps of his teeth. " _Everything_  you do to me." Rin managed to miraculously control himself enough to shoot a sultry smirk at Haru and his heart skyrocketed when Haru's face parted in delirious shock at the pleasure that  _he_  was giving him. The blue of his eyes shimmered with a beauty he never imagined was possible.

" _God,_  you're fucking  _gorgeous_." Rin's words tumbled out before he could stop them, and he laughed quietly at how undone Haru made him. He was about to lean down to resume, but Haru pulled at the hem of his shirt, which made him pause.

"Rin let's...go to my bedroom...upstairs..." Haru couldn't even form complete sentences without having to gasp for precious air. "Better...more comfy..."

Rin blinked.

"Oh right, the floor  _is_  kinda hard." Rin chuckled again, wondering if he had gone crazy from the euphoria. He rolled off of Haru in order to make way, only for him to drag Rin's wrist along and march up the stairs with a quick zeal.

"Someone's eager." Rin guffawed.

"Don't talk to me with that tent in your pants."

" _Ku-!_  W-Well..." He looked down in embarrassment, only to reignite in indignation at the obvious hypocrisy he saw. "HEY! Who the hell said  _you_  could talk?!" He was trailing behind Haru up the stairs and he could  _hear_  the self-consciousness in his voice.

"At least I don't rub it in..." Haru managed through his fluster. Rin could only gape at the shy tone and only imagine the redness in his face.

_"Cute."_

"Annoying."

"You love it."

They entered Haru's bedroom and he slammed Rin's body against the door with a jarring force and swiftly bit and licked his earlobe that completely wiped the smirk off his face.

_"Loud."_

Heavy puffs filled the room and the heat spiralled throughout again, as Rin breathed shakily at Haru's sudden, insanely  _arousing_  aggression. Rin made a mental note to never  _(or always)_  tease Haru. The scales tipped every which way, and now it was in Haru's favour as he mercilessly sucked, pinched and nibbled the soundness out of Rin in a symphony of burning breaths and hot nerves bursting at the seams.

"I thought you wanted- _hhnn...!_ "

"Wanted what,  _Rin_?"  The darkly honeyed way his name poured out his lips made stars shoot straight up to the tip of Rin's already raging hard-on.

"Th- _fffuck...!_ " Rin could barely get a word in out of all the blinding points of light from Haru sneaking his satiny hands under his shirt (Rin insisted he could've counted the individual ridges of Haru's nimble fingertips) and his lips smearing his own. He nearly yelled when Haru pressed his knee knowingly,  _deviously_  against his dick through his very restricting pants. His mind blew a fuse; Haru was  _salivating_  for him.

"I can't hear you..." Haru murmured shamelessly in a low, almost sing-song, tone. ( _shit, what monster have I released...?_ ) He breathed over his lips. "You have to speak." He kissed him hard, releasing with a pliant pop. "Up."

" _Bed._ " Rin spluttered so fast and in a voice so unlike his own that Haru shook with a sensual chortle that made Rin's heart quake erratically. Rin's mind was reeling on a tightrope wire; just a bit earlier he was topping, only to be shut up by Haru's incredible impulsion that he would have never had any idea about. The idea of a seductive,  _slinky_  Haru inflamed him so much that he kissed him hard, stumbling onto the bed that bounced with the springs creaking at their collective, entwined weight. Haru obviously didn't foresee the power shift as he melted into a putty by Rin's ministrations: rubbing his hands over his taut chest and the nubs of his nipples, clutching at his hair and neck as he ate him up.

" _Mmf...!_ "

" _Don't think you own me._ " Rin taunted with sex dripping from his every word in a complete turnaround, not planning to be outdone by Haru. He didn't know where the words came from, but he didn't care so long as he could savour the softened tones that made him want to come on the spot broke loose from Haru's face of delicious admission. " _When we're done, the only name you'll remember is the one you'll be screaming._ " His scandalous pants ghosted over the stellar hickey he gave him earlier as he moved up to his ear, his dick twitched with the godless whimpers Haru was uttering in reflex. "I will  _ravish_  you."

" _Rin!_ " Haru cried out his name as he attacked the soft, strong column of his neck; his weak spot. "N-not...f- _fair!!_ "

"Say my name again." Rin was far, far gone and Haru noted how he became talkative when he was turned on. "God, Haru,  _please_  say my name again...!" Their noses touched as Rin paused the kiss to stare at Haru, to see him respond, looking for proof that this surreal dream was reality.

"Rin..." Haru coarsely whispered, which elicited a smile of malice from Rin.

"You think I'll let you get shit for that?" He got daring, twisting Haru's nipple and palming his abs so close to his cock that Haru nearly wept in desperation for him to  _just touch there_. "I wanna hear you fuckin'  _scream_  it." His rough, carnal words made Haru tremble from the roots of his teeth to his every toe. Then his fingers curled around his shaft that prodded through his jammers as he wetly mouthed his neck and Haru's sight and nerves exploded in an engulfing white.

_"RIN...!!"_

"That's better..." Rin laughed under his breath profanely.

Haru was convulsing at the overload, inhaling turbulently and his voice shivered. It felt like hours, but it couldn't have been 10 minutes, but it was so much he was  _so close..._

"Rin, I'm gonna...I'm gonna..." Haru gasped unevenly in a small voice, nearly tearing up from need, as Rin fumbled with his belt.

"Yeah, me too." Rin coughed at how quavery his voice had become from the thrill of being so  _close_  to Haru. He pulled his trousers and tossed them at the foot of the bed, revealing the strain of his own jammers that he left on from earlier, being pulled by his clearly visible erection that made Haru still for moment.

"Is that going in there?" Haru asked plainly, with a qualm of concern momentarily masking the blazing fire in the pit of his stomach.

" _No, you dumbass!_ " Rin burned up at the suggestion. "Gah, it's fucking hot." He stripped off his shirt so that Haru could ponder how he never really noticed how well-built he was until he was hanging over him, nearly nude on his bed.

_Huh._

"We're not doing any of that shit without lube. I hear it's a bitch-"

Rin gagged as Haru absently reached out to place his palm over his notably sculpted chest and abs, leaving a trail of lava following the brush of his hand. Haru inattentively thought how he had the body of some underwear model he saw in some of the malls. Haru looked up to see Rin very,  _very_  affected by the only innocent touch Haru had intended in the afternoon.

"Sorry."

"The  _fuck_  are you sorry for?" Rin wheezed incredulously as he went down to kiss him fiercely. Haru committed his especially sensitive torso to memory as he returned it with fervour with Rin edging down his swimsuit and rubbing his firm, smooth, chest over his and all this touch was so  _staggering_.

They paused a moment as Haru realised that only one of Rin's hands was hooking down his jammers. He peeled his eyes open, about to ask why they stopped again, before he felt a finger poking at his lips.

"I got a little idea." Rin mumbled with his eyes hooded, focused on his finger slithering into Haru's mouth, "Play along."

 _Kinky._  Haru was jotting down a lot of mental notes.

Haru decided to appease him to get to the main event more quickly. He wholly dedicated himself to suck and lick at Rin's digits ardently, as Rin looked on in like this was an illusory, wonderful fantasy that extended from simple chopsticks. Haru found it strangely, enormously erotic as some drool trailed down the side of his mouth and slathered onto Rin's finger as he added a third finger in, starting to pump slowly. It made the most sloppy, lewd noises and Haru let through the most vulgar, nearly pornographic moans that conducted throughout Rin's whole body like a lightning rod to Earth as he twisted his fingers around Haru's gyring, thick tongue. Haru stopped sheerly because of the sounds he was making were completely mortifying, red in the face and breathless. To his downright dismay, a whine fluttered from his throat that made it sound like he was crying, as Rin answered by rewarding him with a singing kiss.

"God, Haru, fuckin'  _sexy_..."

"Nnff...quiet..."

"You're still embarrassed after groping me?" Rin couldn't help but be humoured at how capricious Haru was.

"Mmph..." Haru's response was consumed by Rin's mouth. He felt something cold drip down the valley of his chest amidst the heat and cock spring up from his swimsuit finally releasing it. He groaned in relief, but wondered why Rin had stopped.

"Ri-? _NNN!!_ "

Rin was swirling his sopping fingers around Haru's painfully erect dick, and had pulled his own jammers down to do the same to his. Haru almost croaked at the sudden wetness and his fingers touching and he was out of his  _mind_  at how weirdly,  _wonderfully_  resourceful Rin was.

After Rin was done, he pinned Haru's arms down and laid on top of him.

"Don't get me wrong, no way are we doing any...y'know,  _anal_  without proper lube. Just thought it'd feel, like, slicker" Rin hastily explained with a small flush. Haru blinked and remembered that he was just as inexperienced as he was, as the tempo had slowed down considerably just to ensure everything was in order. "But, well, I got none of that freaky STD stuff. I'm pretty sure you woulda said if you did, yeah...?" Haru nodded shortly. "'Kay. So...I think..."

Rin was tentative as he put their shafts together and everything flew to pieces as the most salacious, hackneyed howls fought through to release out of their mouths luridly. Rin just collapsed his weight onto Haru as the glut of concentrated pleasure just broke his joints and Haru buried his head deep into shoulder and bucked his hips up violently, their breaths and bodies racing together.

"hahh...!  _R-Rin...!!_ "

" _Shit, Haru!!_ "

They thrusted in tandem, off-kilter and off-rhythm but nothing was more sensational than this. Their heavy pants and slick bodies slid over each other mercilessly with force that shook the entire bed and their whole worlds. They tried to think of something horrifying to stave off the inevitable, to relish how  _enthralling_  and  _explosive_  it was just grinding their chests and their shafts over each other, but there was no hope for two healthy, teenage virgins to have such stamina. They cried out in unison,

" _Rin!!_ " " _Haruu!!_ "

As a glorious orgasm came in a copious release; thick, white ribbons of cum splattered on their chests, as Rin bellowed out a gravelly cry and Haru sighed audibly at the utter satisfaction. They laid there for a while, the afterglow surrounding them following the intoxicating pleasure, their deep huffs reverberating in the now consciously large bedroom.

Haru could barely see the ceiling of the room through Rin's crushing, comforting warmth and the dark red of his hair. He focused on his breathing as he felt an undeniable pang of dirtiness at what just happened, feeling as if he was separate to himself and bore witness to the whole, filthy escapade. But he mostly noticed how he had a new favourite activity alongside swimming. He took in a sharp breath he didn't know he needed when Rin lazily rolled off to the other part of the bed.

"That was good." Rin murmured as if he woke up from a long reverie. "That was really,  _really_  good." He chuckled softly in disbelief of...all of  _that_  as he adjusted his swimsuit back up to cover his now calm length, then put his hands behind his head in content, snuggling himself into Haru's bed. Haru silently admired at how the nearly setting sun painted a yellow halo on Rin's strong form from the window and spilled onto the bedsheets.

Speaking of spilled,

"Rin, your body..." Haru still found himself puffing a bit, and Rin was the same as he did a mini sit-up

"Hm? Ah, fuck, it's all dirty." He looked over at Haru, seeming to have a pleasant penchant for chuckling when he was happy. "Yours too."

Haru was taking in the glow on Rin's face; how it looked so angelic and deliriously gleeful and he never wanted to see anything but that genuine, sharp-toothed grin. It spurred him to crawl over to Rin, throwing him off-balance as Haru eclipsed him.

"I'll clean up."

"How? There aren't any tiss- _hahhhhhnn_ " Rin had to clasp Haru's hair as he bent down to lick off the cum with his swiping tongue.

"Bleh." Haru realised that it didn't taste very nice at all, repulsively salty even, but kept lapping the stuff up, his supple tongue pressed and drawing up the hard plane of Rin's muscles. Rin mewled and helplessly tried to pull Haru away, which he misinterpreted as encouragement.

"God,  _wait_  Haru, I can't come  _twice_  so soon...! Too much- _angh!_ "

"You like it here..." Haru was murmuring mostly to himself for future information.

" _Sh-shut up!_  I- _gahh!_  Fuckin'  _stop_...!"

Haru raptured in how Rin squirmed uselessly under him, as he flicked the last strip of cum up into his mouth.

"Disgusting." Haru wiped away some slaver at his mouth with the back of his hand, covering some of his pink cheeks. Rin gulped down thick tar at how Haru had licked his cum off of his chest.

_Haru had licked his cum off of his chest._

_Wake up Matsuoka, it’s Christmas._

Rin turned over him with gusto, no longer feeling like a happy lead weight as he passionately returned the favour, supping up Haru's chest with deep groans to invigorate him.

"eugh. You're right, it tastes like  _shit_."

 _"Told...you..."_  Haru muttered brokenly before he capitulated to Rin's tongue and nose scouring over him.

He licked the last ribbon up and stopped to watch Haru try to control his breathing with the back of his hand touching his forehead to hide some of his rapt expression, eyes scrunched and mouth open. His mind was sent back to how he saw another look of surprise as the breeze blew past on the streets and faintly remembered how he thought Haru would have reacted to finding out about what how Rin liked him. He stifled a snigger, causing Haru to look at him.

"What is it?"

"It's nothing." Rin mindlessly nuzzled his cheek, "Just thinking about how this all turned out, isall."

"Mm." Haru leisurely threw his arms around his shoulders to rope him into a hug, which he gladly obliged by snaking his own under the dip of his back and flopped back onto the other side of the bed. They were in each other's arms, which was the most natural thing that they ever felt had to be done. They could feel the buzzing warmth of each other's skin and calming breaths with tickling strands of hair as they laid there, carefree and buoyant. As reality settled back into place, Rin found some necessary questions floating around that he needed to pin down as he opened his eyes.

"Haru?"

"Mm?"

"This...this whole thing...where does it leave us?"

Haru looked bemused, thinking that it was more clear-cut. "I like you. And you were telling me you like me, so..."

"So we're...together?" Rin said it so cautiously with a little hope kindling in his eyes

_("Fine. I'll swim in your relay." Haru finally caved; Rin was really persistent. Rin's expression morphed into shock as he whipped his head in his direction._

_"Really?! **Alright!** "_

_Haru had to look away at his blinding smile._

_..._

_He was afraid he was going to fall from the force, but he was held tightly in place as his eyes widened to the tufts of red hair and broad, pale shoulders in the sides of his vision along the cheering crowd in the background. He could hear Rin snivel as he shed tears at the victory. Their victory._

_"Haru! You showed me the best sight I could ask for!")_

that Haru had to fight back a little smile at how endearing he was and keep on topic.

"Yeah." Haru snuggled into his chest with the same simple tone but with a new beam on his face, "We're together."

"Awesome." Haru could discern the smile in Rin's voice as he hugged him tighter. "Oh and," Haru turned to look at Rin at the addition, who was flushing with content. "You can consider this as repayment. Everything." Haru felt sheepish at how intently Rin was gazing at him as he nodded.

"Yeah."

The room comfortably slipped back into the ambience of the boys' even breaths as they held each other, taking in each other's presence. The warmth of the sunset was in full force now as Haru started to pay attention to Rin's scent: it was dizzying and heady, but also carried something familiar...

...chlorine. That's what it was.

Haru sat up on the softly creaking bed and lightly shook Rin's arm for attention like a little child.

"Let's go swimming."

Rin whined tiredly. "But we'd have to break in...ah, shit," Rin sat up as his memory started to function again. "I left my stuff there...Yeah, we'll have to break in. Don't suppose it's a problem for you."

"It is my school."

"Figured. I left my crap there anyway."

"Here're your clothes." Haru stretched down the side of the bed and promptly tossed them into Rin's waiting arms.

"Thanks."

Haru pivoted round and got his feet on the floor, standing to twist and stretch at how loose all his muscles felt. He turned at the clinking of Rin's belt buckle, watching him playing around with it and shirtless with his polo snagged in his teeth. He idly traced his defined silhouette from the pouring orange from the window.

_Like an angel..._

"Yew can't shtill 'e excited, can you?" Rin ragged Haru through a jaunting leer as he pulled over his top.

Haru turned away quickly. Another note: Rin really liked to tease.

"I know you watched me stretching." It was a shot in the dark,

"Gu-!" ...but he nailed it. "L-Let's get going already!" Rin strode past him defiantly and hustled down the steps as Haru sedately followed. It was too easy to stoke the guy. Haru had a lot of notes to look over; he sighed as Rin called for him after he put back on his clothes in the living room.

_How troublesome._


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah after reading numerous character death fics, I fluffed up this chapter so bad the plot’s nearly invisible. However there’s a fair bit of set-up for later events in the beginning and a smidge near the end :)
> 
> EDIT: yeah so I read this again the other night and I went all like wow that’s a lot of grammatical errors that makes myself cringe how about I edit it? :)

The sky was a pure, boundless lilac that swirled with orange and shell-pink shades in the distant horizon as the sun was gradually receding towards the sea it had painted in a warm palette. The snug heat was still present throughout; the trees, buildings and pavements that were sprinkled around the choppy terrain of the island were bathed in a hazy gleam; it was a picturesque, quaint tranquility. The only audible sounds besides the periodic whistle of a breeze were a few treks on the pavement; Haru had his hands loosely stuffed into pockets and Rin who cradled his head with a careless ease.

They walked side by side towards the school, worlds calmer than how they were only a couple of hours earlier. They kept a sociable distance from each other as they made their way.

_Unlike a few minutes ago._

Rin glanced over at Haru infrequently during their promenade. He distantly recalled how he could have cut the palpable discomfort in the air when he was escorted to Haru’s home, and then his mind processing just how serene he looked now.

Happy.

And his other expression from moments ago when they were essentially shoved into each other’s pants ( _swimsuits, more like…_ ).

And how no one else would ever see it; how he would be the only one to ever be so close to him. How Haru was all _his_. He blushed out of his privilege.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," _Except your sex face and you in general._ ”Just glad you’re my…”

He faltered a little. The word hadn’t actually come to mind before.

"Boyfriend."

Haru looked at him curiously, quickly pulling a lot of words out of Rin, more than he expected to.

" _We_ -I mean…I never thought I’d have a _boy_ friend than a girlfriend. Even though I never really saw a girl _that_ way, I always thought in the future if I _do_ settle down I’ll get a wife and stuff ‘cause I never saw other _guys_ that way either,” he scratched his jaw and rambled on, “‘cause of swimming and stuff. But you’re the only one that I…uh…”

_(Feel this way for…)_

He groaned at refraining to just _hit_ himself.

_The fuck’s wrong with me, he doesn’t need a speech…_

He tried to read Haru’s response at his little confession, “…y’know?”

"Yeah. I never spent much thought on…liking people either." Rin sighed in relief, "I only thought I’d ever see water that way."

Then he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Haru,"

"Yeah?" He turned around to meet Rin’s narrowed eyes.

“ _Water_? In _that_ way?”

"Ah," Haru closed his eyes in deep thought, "I never told you about my first love…"

“ _First love!?_ ”

"In grade school, my parents took me hiking up in the nearby mountains where my fateful encounter happened." ( _"fateful encounter…?"_ ) ”I couldn’t pull my eyes away; that intensely beautiful, sparkling, immaculate waterfall…” His eyes glistened dotingly as he stared off into the vista as the wind swept his hair like in a horrible shoujo manga as Rin was at a complete loss of words.

"What…the fuck."

"Don’t say that."

"Haru, it’s a _waterfall!_.”

"It was gorgeous."

"IT’S INSANE!"

"I’ll never forget it."

"I’m second to a waterfall…?"

"I can’t really compare; you’re Rin." He put a hand to his chin in musing. "I’d say you’re equal."

“ _I’M EQUAL TO A WATERFALL?!_ (and wha’d’you mean _'I'm Rin'_?) ”

"That’s the highest praise I can offer."

"…A fucking _waterfall_ …?”

He went over to him and Rin instantly stiffened as he clasped his hand and chastely kiss him.

"You don’t need to worry about it." he pulled away so their faces were only centimetres apart. "You’re the only one I see like that."

"H-Haru, we’re in _public_ ,” Rin gratingly reprimanded him, colouring at his tender fidelity, “We can’t do that stuff out here!”

"There’s no one around…"

"That’s-! Well…”

"And I’m guessing you like sunsets, right?"

“ _How did you-?!_ ”

"Always the romantic."

"I-! _You-!_ ”

"Just enjoy it."

“Gah…!" Rin grabbed his head and Haru didn't even flinch as he growled, "You _piss_ me off!”

He lunged in for a punishing kiss as Haru hung his hands around his hips, savouring what he never thought was enjoyable before.

_Having a boyfriend is this nice..._

Rin’s anger mollified in something much more soothing as Haru savoured the heavenly shudder of their moist lips brushing together and Rin’s fingers digging through his hair. They pulled away, gazing at each other softly.

"Rin, you smell weird." Haru crinkled his nose at the strange, but rousing smell; Rin sighed tiredly.

"Way to kill the mood. And yeah, we did do that… _stuff_ without showering. Don’t think that was a good idea.” He moved to grip Haru's hand firmly, “We can shower when we get there.”

"After we swim, right?"

"Yeah, after we swim."

So they carried on their way hand-in-hand. They were at peace for once.

"Haru."

For a moment. That counted for something.

"Yeah, Rin?"

"I…We should go on a date."

"Doesn’t this count?"

“ _Hell no!_ I’m talkin’ about a _real_ date, not a swim and a shower at your damn school!” He turned away, flushing in annoyance. “I want this…this _relationship_ ,” he gulped at the word, “To work; I don’t wanna screw it up. And we already skipped, like, 2 bases in the beginning.”

"Bases…? Like in baseball?"

“My god, I-I’ll tell you about that stuff later…! Crap, you’re clueless…!!”

"Oh…so what do you mean?"

"I mean," he exhaled, "I feel we went too fast. Don’t get me wrong, what we did blew my mind in all the right ways and stuff," Haru’s cheeks tinted at how Rin announced that so casually, "And it felt really… _right_. But…” he glanced at Haru tentatively while his hand still held on to his, “I don’t want you to think that the…physical stuff is all I want…that’s all. I…” His face burned, “ I care about you…”

Haru took in his words with the way he was peeking at the ground in uncertainty with his hand still in his, and it was fair-minded; if anything he just reflected his sentiments about them.

_I suppose him talking too much isn’t always annoying…_

Haru squeezed his hand; Rin snapped his head up.

"Same. I…feel the same way." Haru offered a little smile of encouragement which made Rin’s heart stop ( _He doesn’t smile that often, does he…_ ), “Where do you think we should go?”

"I-I was thinking like a park or something!" Rin suggested much too quickly and loudly, "Th-Then we can hit the mall for dinner, yeah? Or your place, because tomorrow’s a Friday and stuff. Um, wait, I mean…"

"My place is fine."

"Yeah! Yeah. So…" Rin clammed up as his free hand started to fiddle with the strand of hair that covered his eyes. "It’s a date."

"Cool."

"Yeah…"

They lapsed into peace and quiet, but Rin still felt jittery; his hand starting to smart with Haru’s innocuous grip on his hand. Rin glimpsed at Haru intermittently before turning to look where he was heading, wincing on the inside as his heart started to do the mariachi.

_Shit, I'm dying...I **know**  it...._

"You’re happy." Haru stated.

"S-So what if I am?" His lowered voice wasn’t the funny outburst that Haru had expected.

"That’s good," Rin looked up to see Haru smile at him

(for him)

with the same, calming voice that did absolutely nothing for his racing pulse, "I like it when you’re happy."

Rin stared at him speechlessly wondering just how deep in he was. He felt so mild as he could only reply with:

"Same."

They loosely released each other’s hands as the gates of Iwatobi High came within eyeshot.

**…**

Their shoes trotted against the linoleum in the changing room as both made beelines for their respective pigeonholes. The quick rustle of Haru’s clothes added to the ambience as Rin squatted, rummaging through his bag while Haru started to rest against the lockers.

"Everything’s still here…oi, where’s my goggles?…"

"Rin?" Haru peeked out of his slouch at Rin’s confusion.

“What the hell…?”

Haru promptly walked over and crouched alongside Rin who nearly jumped at the sudden, annoyingly electric contact.

"Wh-"

"Here."

Rin followed Haru’s hand gingerly placing his goggles on his lap, seeing his half-lidded exasperation.

"You’re slow."

"Oi, you could’ve just went first."

"I was waiting for you."

"Doesn’t mean tha- _hold up._ " Haru raised an eyebrow at the blooming confusion on Rin’s face. "You were _waiting_ for me?”

"So?"

“ _So?_ You never wait when there’s a pool.”

"I-" Haru cut himself off, stuttering.

(he actually _stuttered_ )

He turned a quick red. "It’s not…like I can’t wait." He pivoted around on his heel and strode out of the changing room as Rin gaped at him.

_(“You don’t need to worry about it.” He pulled away so their faces were only centimetres apart. “You’re the only one I see like that.”)_

Rin gulped as he quickly peeled off his clothes.

_Huh…_

He ruffled his hair for a sudden itch as his feet lightly slapped the cool floor; he bristled at the chill of a breeze as the entered the bright orange air and the smell of chlorine invaded his nose. He snapped on his goggles, squeezing the lenses against his heads ceremoniously and stood tall on the diving block. He could pick out the petals floating from the cherry blossom trees surrounding the pool outside the chain link fence. The sky was so expansive and an unfiltered pink and Haru looked so small and untroubled floating in the clear blue water that Rin couldn’t help but feel awestruck.

There was a sense of potency he felt when he stood there; the same place where he would always see Nagisa do the last incredible stretch home before it was him.

 _But the view down there is better._ The stray thought fled as he flawlessly plunged into the water. His pent up energy from unfinished practice raced through to his core, as his whole mind left him and became focused on his every butterfly stroke as soon as he broke the surface. The extension of his arms, the roll of his hips, the bond of his feet. His body cut through the water rushing around him as if he were detached from himself, like controlling a finely honed machine as he took searing breaths, giving the length his everything. A splash cushioned his hand hitting the tile at the end, as he stared at the junction between the water and the wall crashing against each other with heaving, continuous breaths.

"You should relax." Haru shook the water out of his hair and waded over to Rin who was still panting.

"I…didn’t…finish training…" His eyes went tight and slack as Haru maintained his composed, nearly studying gaze. "…so…"

Rin’s body was slick with water as Haru gently turned his shoulder; he looked dazed as Haru took hold of his hands and started kicking backwards at an angle so they floated together.

"O-Oi. What’re you doing, Haru?" he felt an enveloping humiliation, "I’m not some kid."

"You’re not. I just want you to relax." The way Haru’s eyes and the water on his body glimmered in the light, and how his lithe arms were outstretched for him, his sincerity transformed the cause of Rin’s blush into something subtly, extremely different.

"Okay…"

"Good. You can float, right?"

"Pft, yeah. Don’t take me for Rei." Rin let go of Haru’s hands, making space for himself.

"I was just wondering." Haru replied innocently as he poised himself on his back.

"It’s fine, I was just jok-" His words degenerated into little bursts of water as Haru stared at him sinking down like a stone.

"So you _do_ sink."

Rin pushed himself back up with a loud breath.

“ _What the hell?!_ ”

"It’s nothing to be ashamed of."

"I don’t sink!"

"But just now-"

“ _I don’t sink._ ”

"It’s fine, Rin-"

"You do it all the time, so I can do it t- _Shit_ ,” He brought his hands to his eyes in disbelief, “Is this something you beat me at?!”

"Rin," he sighed, "You’re supposed to rela-"

"No way! I’m gonna show you I can float as well as you do."

"Well, no one can really float like me."

Rin stopped his flustered splashes to eye Haru’s small shrug with a glare that would have made lesser men flee.

"Is that a challenge?" There was a threatening disbelief in his whisper as Haru’s eyes steeled and something infuriatingly coy laced into his indifferent tone.

"Maybe."

“ _That’s it!_ " Rin defiantly set his back on the water like a petulant child. "We’re not going _anywhere_ till I can float better than you!”

"We’ll be here a long time then." Haru brought his feet up to the surface, floating with practiced ease.

"I’m gonna mak-" Rin’s announcement was literally drowned out; he came back up with his lungs scrabbling for air. "The hell?! How is this so difficult?!"

"This will take a while…" he thought aloud as Rin set himself afloat with a snarl.

"I heard tha-!"

 _Not how I expected this to go…_ Haru wallowed while the sound of Rin’s inhale and murmured obscenities grazed through the repose. He experimentally moved his hand to Rin’s back like a waiter serving a dish, propping him up as his vision went up towards the darkening pink.

 _But it’s still nice._ A smile crept on Haru’s features while Rin was spluttering (“I don’t need help! I can do this!”).

**…**

"Well," Rin paraded into the changing room dripping wet with his arms cradling the back of his head and in eyes closed in haughty triumph. "I managed to stay up just as long as you did. So now we’re even."

"I never thought I would be able to stay in the pool for so long," Haru brought his attention towards the window at the side of the lockers as Rin snatched his towel up; the sky was dusky and the sun had dipped into the curves of the hills on the horizon ages ago. "That was nice." Rin made a small grunt of agreement as he pulled out his cell phone. He huffed in mock irritation as he scanned over a couple of texts he had received from Gou, but couldn’t fight off the little smile gracing his face.

 ** _sis:_** _Onii-chan, is your spring break next week? We’ve a week off of school. (★^O^★)_

_**_sis:_** We could all hang out together! ٩(^ᴗ^)۶_

Huh, is it? Sounds about right…

_**_(Rin) You:_** maybe. not sure though._

He locked his phone, about to put it in his bag, only for it to buzz again.

_Fast…_

**_sis:_** _Are you gonna stay at Samezuka? And I texted you hours ago! ( >人<)_

 _Yeah, I was sorta occupied at Haru’s…_ He sharply sucked in air through his teeth, scratching his head. _Like hell I’d tell her that, though._

He tapped away, pausing from time to time.

 ** _(Rin) You:_** _probably. and i had to get haru swimming._

Another reply.

 ** _sis:_** _I remember Makoto-senpai saying that (︶︹︺) And I was hoping you would stay_

Discomposure shot throughout Rin’s body. ( _Stay at Haru’s…?_ ) His phone buzzed again.

 ** _sis:_** _*over at home (^～^)_

 _Oh._ Rin’s chest sunk back and his tension dissipated. _Right, that makes a lot more sense._

_But…_

He swallowed as an idea sneaked its way to his head; he didn't see Haru tilt his head towards him.

_Could I stay over at his…?_

_Shit, what am I thinking?!_ He jerked his head, earning an unnoticed, blue squint. _I haven’t even gone out with him yet, for fuck’s sake!! I can’t just stay over at his house like we’re…we’re……_

_ married. _

He nearly jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder in the midst of his turmoil. He turned to see Haru eyeballing him.

_Whoa, he looks pissed… **Shit** , did I say that out loud?!_

"Who’re you texting?"

"Huh? Oh…" He glanced over at his phone. "My sis."

"…oh."

The edge in Haru’s eyes melted away; Rin peered at his change in expression.

"What’s up with you?" Rin mulled as he tossed his phone back and brought up his towel to ruffle through his hair. His grin peeked through the gaps of his locks. "Were you jealous~?" His bass tease made Haru start.

"No." Haru responded automatically. He immediately tried to disconnect himself from the embarrassingly strong envy that consumed him when he saw him shiver at someone else’s words on a screen; someone that he thought wasn’t just his sister. As if he witnessed some stranger’s intense discontent and could claim no relation to how the raw emotion was hurtling around his every fibre.

He unclenched his fist, starting to think; to travel along possibilities and tangents that he never once considered until Rin sparked something deep inside him again. A slew of thoughts, all indescribable yet so clear, sped through his head.

_Does he use his phone a lot?…I wonder if he stays in touch with anyone from Australia……...I don’t…_

His irrationality quickly faded as Rin laughed light-heartedly, which made the blood rush into his ears even faster and something cool wash over his heated doubt.

"Yeah, well…" Rin continued as Haru’s mind hesitantly went back to their other conversation; he tried not to replay the meek flush spreading across Rin’s face from that text… "I needed to set the floating record straight. I never really got the chance to just _float_ before, so…”

"Was it nice?"

"…yeah. I guess it was." Rin’s towel hid his face as he headed for the shower chambers.

 _He really is different now…_ Haru watched him leave, fixated on how he spotted a little pout. He shook his head softly as the knob’s creaks and the shower’s flow sounded. _I need help…_

"Hey, Haru?" Rin’s call sounded metallic from the echo of the stall as Haru looked up. "D’you mind getting the shampoo in my bag? Forgot to bring it over."

"Okay."

He retrieved the black shampoo bottle easily and headed over to the stall. Haru made his way between the two rows of curtained stalls and located Rin; he had decided to forgo drawing his curtains.

"Here."

Haru’s hand reached out with the shampoo bottle as Rin brought his head down from the shower head. Though somehow, the bottle felt shaky in Haru’s grip as rivulets of clear, pouring water trailed over the juts and curves of Rin’s trimmed body, down to darkening his glossy jammers and that translucent, red patch near his crotch. There wasn’t a single blemish (save for the marks Haru had given him from earlier day that day) as he shone in the cool lamp overhead. And in the split-second that Rin looked over with a calm, carmine eyes nearly shut from the water that followed through to his parted mouth, Haru felt very, _very_ thirsty.

And to think that someone else could see this…could make Rin feel the way he made Haru feel every time they met…

"Oh, than- _Wha_ -?”

His words were consumed by soft, possessing skin. Haru swiftly pinned Rin to the side wall of the shower to save him the agony of the knobs digging into his back with the bottle clattering on the puddled ground; his mind was clouded as he breathed in Rin’s lips like a dying man gasping for air. His hands were the shackles as Rin was the writhing prisoner; he slid his wrists above his head, pinning him, drinking in his sudden moans and feeling his wriggling, slippery body rub against his. Rin gasped as Haru went to nibble his neck.

“ _Fuck!_ " Rin cursed again when Haru sucked even harder on a point to leave a prominent shiner. " _Haruu…_ ”

“Mine…" Haru lapped up his neck and his whispers were lost in the pattering of the shower. He was renowned for being composed, but his mind unwound entirely as Rin was so _red_ and breathing so hard…

“ _Shit_ , you’re like some wild animal…” Rin could barely catch his breath as a groan squeezed through the thick atmosphere. Haru came up to kiss him with a small strength, like a gesture of assurance, before he reluctantly pulled back to survey the hue of his eyes and lips.

"Sorry…you just looked…" Haru swallowed as he leaned in to nuzzle Rin’s now frayed, burgundy hair that stood on end. "Really good…"

"Tch…" Rin’s eyes looked to side as he slowly pushed Haru away as his face and ears lit up, "Idiot…lemme shower already…" He bent down to pick up the shampoo as Haru looked on with a twinge of worry.

"Are you mad at me?"

"Hell no, that was…" He brought a hand to his neck, rubbing it slightly as he kept his eyes steadfastly away from him. "good…"

"Oh," Haru smiled, "Good." He sidled out into the other stall, as Rin vacantly watched him leave as if he just gave him the shampoo without trouble. "Hurry up; I need to use it next…"

"I know that!" Rin opened the bottle obstinately, "Didn’t even get a damn chance to use it…" he grumbled as he vigorously lathered his hair in frustration.

 _What the fuck!? How the hell does he just walk away after…after **that**?_ His lips and his neck still stung as goosebumps broke over him, begging for the vivid memory of Haru blanketing him, being so close to him, to become reality again. _So damn impulsive, but **shit** …_ he shivered a moment in the rush of the shower, feeling his arms slide up the ceramic tiled wall again as he was totally at Haru’s mercy.

_That was so fuckin’ **hot** …_

Haru made a note to use his cell phone more often.  



End file.
